JOURNAL

 

So many of you have asked the status of my friend that I have spoken about in prior entries that I thought I would give you a complete update.  It is not good.

Last Sunday evening his sister came by and talked with me for quite some time.  I feel that we should also give her a name and for now let's call her *J*.

*G* has been drinking for many years.  No one really knows how many but we do know that it's too many.  He has had the same job for many years and it was a good job with good pay.  He is a divorced man and has a teenage daughter. 

When I first started writing about him, he had just lost his job.  He had had a seizure on the job and was taken to the hospital via ambulance.  Medical personnel discovered his alcoholism and put him on Dilantin.  His drivers license was suspended and he had to attend driving classes to get the license back.  He did all of this and then went and got another job.  Shortly after getting this new job, he injured his hand.  He was off work for 3 weeks.  Upon returning to work, he worked 7 days straight.  On the 7th day, he went to a friends house where he stole their Vicoden.  He went on a binge.  Drinking and taking pain medication.  On the 4th day of the binge, he decided to call work.  He found out that they had suspended him for 10 days.  During the suspension he received a termination letter.  

The drinking continued.  His family was very worried and they contacted me.  He then contacted me and that's when I went to his apartment to talk with him.  You can find this part of the story here.

Periodically though the next few journal entries, I have given you updates on him.  His brief visit with the treatment center.  His next stop at the hospital and then on to detox in a nearby town.  After returning home from detox, he did go back to the treatment center and signed up for out patient treatment.  He went to a few meetings and his mom even attended a few with him.  But, the power of the drink grabbed him once again and he was right back where he started.  He stopped showing up for the meetings.  *J* asked him to bring by his medical forms so that she could make sure that  his medical coverage was in tact and valid.  Many times he promised to do this and never showed up.  She fears that to much time has elapsed now and it's probably too late to continue the coverage.  She also feels that the treatment center has dropped him from the classes as he hasn't shown up in over a week.  She doesn't think he has paid his rent either.  Nonetheless, he is spiraling downward and fast.

I could actually feel *J's* pain as she related all of this to me again.  She feels totally helpless and I understand that.  It is very difficult to stand by and watch someone destroy their life.  But, I reminded her that he is not doing any of this intentionally.  He is sick.  Very sick.   He cannot stop what he is doing without help.  He isn't drinking to cause harm to others.  He is drinking because the power of the drink has taken over his mind and body.  It is what alcoholism is all about.  The phenomenon of craving far outweighs the desire to stop.  When the alcoholic has reached this point, I feel that medical attention is a must.  In my personal opinion, *G* will not stop drinking without medical attention.  His drinking might have progressed to the point that only supervised medical attention, 24/7 is going to get him sober.  And even then, without constant care and people like him trying to help him, he will probably repeat this process again and again.  I did.  It lasted for 8 years and they were the most horrible of all the time I was out there drinking and drugging. 

It is hard for me to have to tell people the harsh realities of this disease.  She must stand by and let him fall.  All interference will only make him drink more.  It is something that only he can do.  It starts with a desire and then the willingness to change is next.  One of the sad things about alcoholics is that deep down they know they are hurting themselves, their families and the people that care about them.  They just aren't equipped with the tools that they gain through the program of AA and the treatment centers to be able to stop. 

I've asked myself over and over what I could do to help him.  And the best that I can do is to keep on going.  I must stay clean and sober in the event he gets the help he needs and then I can be of more service to him.  I also call him and leave messages on his answering machine.  At least he knows that he is not alone.  He knows that someone cares.  That's really all that can be done until he's ready.  It could be tomorrow, a week from now or years from now.  But, I will still be here and I will have let him know that I care.

I asked *J* if I could do this more complete entry on *G* and she said yes.  She feels that if this entry helps others, then telling his story is worth it.  I agree.  We must share our experiences, strength and hope with others if we are to survive this tragic disease.  Through our sharing with others, we create a bond for life.

Footnote:

I have just been informed that *G* has been admitted to a residential treatment center.  You see................miracles do happen.

© 2004 Traci