JOURNAL

 

It never ceases to amaze me how schools can do some of the things they do and no one thinks anything about it.    On second thought, the people that read my journal and others who deal with special needs children probably know exactly what I'm referring to.  It seems that for us anyway, things will go along for a short while and there will be no problems and then all of a sudden, we have the biggest mountain of problems and most of them involving the school. 

I have always tried to help the school staff understand about FAS.  I have taken literature, brochures, printed pages from web sites and even copied pages from books and taken them to the schools that my son has attended.  I want them to be fully informed about what my son's disabilities are.  I also want them to know what his capabilities and potentials are.  For years now, I've felt like I was butting my head against the wall.

Approximately 1 year ago, my son was moved into a private school.  He was placed into a special ed class where I thought he was doing okay.  After several meetings with the teacher and staff, it appeared that he wasn't doing well.  They have an Autism Center on campus and they suggested that we take a tour and think about moving him there.  We took the tour and there were all kinds of kids there.  Not just autistic.  After carefully thinking about this, we decide to move him into the center.  It was wonderful, at first.  He came home from school with less stress on his face.  He seemed to be happy there.  I had gone up there a few times and picked him up from school and he was excited to show me some of the projects that he was working on.  Such as growing grass in a little cup.  I had a few conversations with his teacher and he seemed interested in learning more about FAS.  Once again, I printed out all the material and took it up to him.  He accepted it and I thought everything was okay.  Last week, my son comes home from school and tells me everything is changed.  He says it over and over and over.  A few days later I get a call from his teacher informing me that he has been transferred to another class.  The class is still in the center but he has another teacher.  I asked, *Why didn't someone ask for my input?  Did they talk to you before making this change?*  His response was he didn't know why they didn't consult me and that he wasn't involved in the move.  I was infuriated! 

After a few phone calls back and forth, I decided to go up there and find out what was happening.  Everything was fine until I was told that they were busy and now was not a good time.  I said to make time.  They saw that I was upset and called the principal to come over and sit in on the meeting.  To make a very long story short, I was asked if I trusted them to care for my son.  That was probably the wrong thing to ask me.  I said that trust is earned for one thing and the other is that it's a 2 way street.   After much talking and me being upset, I did find out the reason they moved him.  He is a wanderer and the new class he is in has a door on it.  They are trying to instill some boundaries with him.  I thought that was wonderful but they could have gone about it in a different way.  So, one more time, I told them that I was to be consulted on EVERYTHING that my son does.  I reiterated the fact that I had brought literature and material up there for them to be more informed on FAS.  I don't know that it will do any good.  I am sure that I appeared as some lunatic parent trying to get things straight about my son but at the time, I didn't really care what they thought of me.  It is several days after the fact and you know what?  I still don't care what they think of me.  They need to know that I am an involved parent and I'm not just going to sit idly by while they do whatever they think is best.  I MUST be included and consulted.  As the saying goes, I know my son better than anyone. 

There may be a positive that comes from all of this.  The principal said that he thought my son needed a 1 on 1 aide.  I said that I had requested that at the last IEP and it was denied.  He said that it was time to call another one and request it again.  If this happens, my son will have a better chance at learning not only boundaries but all things.  I did have a chance to meet the new staff that is involved with him and they seemed interested in FAS as well.  But as I said before, trust is earned and if they are interested, there will be evidence of this; in time.

For all of you out there that have some similar issues concerning your kids, you have my utmost respect.  Dealing with the school system is one of the hardest things I have to do.  A suggestion from someone who learned the lesson is, don't go there and get upset.  It doesn't do any good.  I have done it and all it does is get me all worked up and stressed.  I of all people know how hard it is to remain calm when things are going on with my son, but trust me on this one.  Don't get upset.  They are either going to listen to what you are saying or they aren't.  Being upset only caused more grief for me.

I will continue to be diligent in my efforts to educate them on FAS.  As it is with my son, repeat, repeat, repeat.  I will apply the same theory here.  I realize that they have a curriculum to follow but there has to be some room in there for my son and others like him to reach higher plateaus.  And who knows, trying something new might just work for other students in his class as well.

I should be finding out when this IEP is scheduled sometime next week.  I will keep you posted.

 

© 2004 Traci