JOURNAL

 

It has been a long time since I've had the time to get in here and write anything.  Life sometimes does that.  It just goes and goes and I must go with it. 

In the last entry, I spoke of Isaac and his meeting his dad.  They are still building a relationship.  Isaac calls him whenever he wants and they are very receptive to him.  I truly believe that this has had a positive impact on my son.  I don't think Isaac understands that but hopefully, in time he will.

In late August, I went to the Capital to speak to legislators and assemblymen with the CalFas group.  I was nervous to speak to these people but it is something that I know needs to be done.  I just hate politics and so I won't go into that area of it.  From what I understand, all the presentations went well and our organization made progress in the area of FAS.  On September 9th, I went back again.  This time to honor FASDAY.  I spoke again to a small intimate group.  Of the 2 presentations, I liked the smaller group the best.  Because I am a birth mother, I have much to say but it's difficult for me.  My thoughts race far ahead of my speech.  Anyway, it was a good experience and one that I haven't had in many years.  I must continue to be diligent in my efforts to help people become aware of the dangers of drinking while pregnant. 

I do have more news about *G*.  After acquiring approximately 2 months of sobriety, he went out on a binge.  He ended up at *J's* house and that's how I found out.  *J* talked with the family about it and it was decided that they would contact the residential treatment center and let them know.  They put him back into the 30 day detox part of the center and he started the program all over again.  Last night, I received a call from *J* and she told me that *G* had left the center to go to an outside AA meeting.  He really went and got a motel room with some of the other residents and went on another binge.  Somewhere during this drinking spree, another resident took his truck and ended up getting arrested.  The resident has since been released and *G's* truck is in impound.  What I find really interesting about all of this is what happened next.  A woman at the residential center, (she helps to run the place) called and asked *J* if she knew where *G* was at and *J* told her as she had had a phone call from *G*.  This woman then went and picked up all the guys and brought them back to the center.  Astounding, huh?  In all my days of being in and out of these places, I have never heard of such a thing.  *J* had told me of this woman preaching to her about not being an enabler and then she goes and does that exact thing.  I had my doubts about this place in the very beginning when I went over there to the family meeting with *J*.  I really have my doubts now.  But, what I also know is that *G* is not ready to clean up.  He doesn't have the desire to change and that is what is needed to start with.  I can feel everything that *J* is going through and I also know, first hand, what *G* is doing.  This is not an easy road to go down.  *J* wanted to go and get *G's* truck from impound but I think I convinced her to just let it sit there.  It would do no one any good to go and get the truck as *G* would only find another excuse to use it.  Better yet, let him wake up enough and realize what has happened.  Let him do all the leg work to get the truck back.  After all, it is his responsibility. If he doesn't have possession of it, then he can't use it.  Maybe I am being a little harsh here but it's the way that I know works for us addicts/alcoholics. I will post again when there is something else to tell.

As for the rest of life, my plate is full.  I don't remember a time when it wasn't.  So many things go on and if I were to tell of all of them, it would require me to write a novel.  I'm not ready for that.  What I am ready for is change.  I have always been a seeker and I guess I am on a mission.  I don't know exactly what the mission is at this point but as always, it will prove to be interesting. 

© 2004 Traci